The Re-Connection Handbook For Couples – by Justice Schanfarber

For everyone who longs to re-connect with their significant other… for the “early disillusionment” stages of relationship right through to “last hope.”
Download a free sample chapter or purchase your full digital copy now.


At 97 pages it’s a quick read, and feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.
Here’s a brief look at what is covered in the book –

Contradiction and paradox

How we all handle contradiction in each of our lives helps define whom we are as fan, partner, spouse.

Contradiction requests much of us. On the other hand, there may be a great possiblity to create greater convenance in your life by simply confronting the contradictions put in your own talk and actions. On the other hand, it will take great capacity to maintain opposing parts of view and disparate encounters without rejecting one or the various other or both. I phone this “holding opposites. ”

The chance for re-connection in our marriage or perhaps relationship is related to how we handle the contradictions we inevitably face; how we hold opposites. Our ability to put up with, and as we’ll discover, transform, our connection with conundrum into something more efficient requires a particular type of personal capacity.

Navigating our partner’s dilemmas
There’s value in letting our partner wrestle with their own dilemmas without us weighing in or trying to rescue them. It’s important to recognize when our interference is motivated by our own discomfort and anxiety.

Anxiety and nervous system arousal
Underneath all our words and our conscious intentions, our primary relationship follows the twists and turns of two highly attuned nervous systems. Your nervous system and your partner’s nervous system are in constant, silent communication.

Beneath the radar of awareness, these two parts of self are setting the mood, raising the stakes, making peace, or waging war. This is happening under the surface of normal consciousness, despite whatever agreements you might be making and whatever “communication tools” you might be employing.

Boundaries
There are two types of boundaries, internal and external.

External boundaries are our bottom line, our non-negotiable points. Good external boundaries are clear and simple to understand. They set expectations about how precisely we are to be treated, and what the result from a particular transgression or behaviour will be. When we say someone has “good boundaries” we usually are talking about these external boundaries. We tend to associate “good boundaries” with self esteem and respect.

Internal boundaries are different, and rooted in an awareness of the distinction between your emotional experience and the emotional experience of others. These internal emotional boundaries are sometimes called “differentiation”.

Well differentiated individuals do not “lose themselves” in the emotional encounters of others. Poorly differentiated individuals are regularly caught in the emotional storms of everyone around them. Differentiation can be practiced and improved.

…And this merely scratches the area. You’ll as well learn about ~
Mental vs rational personality and communication styles
Maintaining a solid “Relationship Container” during hard times
Tools to support truth-telling in the relationship
Using intentional feel to support re-connection
Untangling love, sex, and closeness (so important! )
Ideal utilization of sex and eroticism for re-connection
Browsing through unwelcome changes in the partner
Re-connecting through pessimism and uncertainty
The Re-Connection Handbook for Couples:
Ideas and practices for augmenting love, sex, and closeness (even in difficult times)
Buy the book today (digital download – pdf format – approximately 97 pages)
$25 USD.

Author – Justice Schanfarber

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